On September 16th 6:50 am, my mommy passed away. I couldn't and i still don't believe how quick she went, just last week i thought she was just getting better, or what the doctors said "3 months" You were only 41 and had so much to live for. It's been less than a week and every single thing i see, go, and think about reminds me of you, your laughter and smile. But then again I get those thoughts where i think it's all my fault, and what people tell me "don't ever blame yourself" i don't think it wouldn't happen one bit. I should have spent a lot more time with you, i shouldn't have put so much stress upon you. And i look back on those day where we would just yell for hours, and it just breaks my heart. But it's just a waste of time for me to think that way, i want to think about the good times because there's nothing i can do anymore to bring back anything, to bring back you.. Knowing that your gone, makes me more appreciative of things and the people that i have, i learned that i must live life to the fullest as corny as it is.
Even Cocoa knows something is wrong, she comes home waggs her tail hoping to find you, and just whimpers. It's going to take me while to accept the fact that your gone, but there is never a time that i'll get over you being gone. It's going to be so hard to see moms at graduation, christmas, thanksgiving, and even mother's day. I just know on those days i'll be visiting you, don't worry i'll even be there every week if i could. Everything i plan to do and will achieve it's all going to be for you. You mean the whole world to me and i'll never going to stop thinking about you. Your in a better place now and I am so glad I spent my last days and waking hours with you, especially to have even kiss you on your cheek with my tears. I hope you are there watching me and guiding me through hard times like these. Rest in paradise mommy, i love you and i'll miss your beautiful smile and fun memories.
Your loving, dearest. daughter.
